Going through the Stargate, feet first and pants down

Posted: August 24, 2012 in Life, Philosophy, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I had a CAT scan this morning, and it wasn’t much like I expected. I was picturing the enclosed MRI torpedo tube, but it was nothing like it.

Highlights were:

Drinking 2 bottles of “Blueberry” flavored Barium Sulfate solution or something. Not very pleasant, but tolerable.

A blood-dyeing IV that created the warm-crotch sensation of having peed yourself

The machine looked like a Stargate or a Donut, and the bed moved up and maneuvered me though the center while it scanned me. I felt very phallic.

Being in and out within half an hour, and back at work by nine.

As the technician stuck the needle into my arm, it occurred to me: this is about the best thing that’s happened to me all week.

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